Snapshots from the refi process

Well, at least the getting ready for the appraisal part of the process.

7/9 I’m trying to dig out in preparation for an appraisal but I have a headache.  I guess I’ll pull up Serenity (film) on a tablet and go sort clothes in my room.

7/15 Taking a break.  I’ve done several things today that under normal circumstances I would have considered heroic, and yet the phrase “rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic” keeps springing to mind.  I guess I’ll study anatomy for a bit and then re-attack.  We rented a storage unit this past weekend.  For original packaging.  This is a particular problem of my husbands that I didn’t want to fight over.  A lot of my boxes full of files and papers are going in there too.  Very little clothes, though, which is another way our lives have been altered by being 99.94% sure we’re done having babies.

It’s cheaper than a divorce.  Well, probably not literally, but as far as keeping the peace goes.  We have been through a year of low grade monetary stress culminating in me wanting to get a job, but my husband doesn’t want to put Cedar in daycare, and spacepook starting college, just so many big things happening or potentially happening.  Also me applying to grad school.

7/16 Can start to see the sunroom as living space again, and hanging out in the basement even though it’s a far cry.  Find myself rearranging books on shelves, though, which is definitely not what’s needed.  We apparently placed them solely by size when we unpacked.  But my linguistics books are all mashed in with massage books, self help, and religious books.

7/22 I’ve played too much Freecell today.  And I hate it (Freecell).  I just hate cleaning more.  And my ability to maintain a low grade panic has apparently burned out.  People are coming over tomorrow which may be of some help.

7/29  As the time for the appraisal  approached this morning, I had some good thoughts.  Back on the first page of this thread, Bob mentioned someone’s artificial flowers, and I think that really freed me to throw them all away.  I don’t really like them to begin with, but my mother seems to, or at least was the source of most of mine.

It got me thinking about how I have things I keep, and my husband has things he keeps, and together we have a mess.  I keep shoes.  He keeps blankets.  I keep papers.  He keeps electronics and anything electronic related.  Added to that, we don’t confront each other due to some of the emotional trauma we’ve endured together.

I don’t know if these insights will help.  Maybe.

Glasses would be one for me, except I buy new ones so rarely, it hasn’t posed much of a problem.  I was thinking yesterday morning that it’s like I have a whole committee of people in my head all demanding that certain things be kept.