About ligermom

I'm a mom to kids with special needs, a nursing student, and a paralegal.

Triggers (Marshall Goldsmith)

I got to experience a presentation on Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith. Good application of positive psychology principles.
He has 6 engaging questions he pays someone to call him each night and ask:
Did I do my best to set clear goals today?
Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today?
Did I do my best to find meaning today?
Did I do my best to be happy today?
Did I do my best to build positive relationships today?
Did I do my best to be fully engaged today?

At the same time, the presentation cautioned about biting off more than we can chew. Well, it had a long list of sabotaging beliefs, but that’s a particularly important one.


90 day healthy habit challenge

cat poster

A friend of mine on facebook (dude from church) is talking up a biggest loser challenge March 1.  And while I only have like 10 lbs to maybe lose, I’m thinking about it.  But rather than diet I’m going to do 5 healthy things a day.  We’ll see what happens.

1.  Workout.  This has the most potential to create results of my habits since my intake will remain the same.  (I have eaten the same for like 2 years after tracking all my food for 3 years.)  So why do I feel like I could lose 10 pounds?  Weekends and holidays add up.

2.  5 freggies per day.  There will be some additional deficit from calories consumed in fiber.  And freggies are antioxidant.

3.  Support groups.  I’m on sparkpeople and there will be this facebook group and other potential peeps.

4.  Inspirational reading.  Take your pick.

5.  Still thinking about 5.

I lost several pounds to anxiety disorder in the fall.  I had been doing most of these things before but had to regroup.  My weight has been stable and I’m feeling better.




Losing my schtuff

A few weeks ago I lost my keys overnight, my phone for half a day, and my purse went missing at my mom’s.  So I ordered a Tile brand locator for Christmas.  Then I lost two Redbox DVDs, resulting in my not getting to watch one of them.  (Tomorrowland, if you’re curious).

They turned up with 40 minutes to spare, but it was frustrating what a waste of time that was.  I didn’t search for them continuously those 5 hours, but that whole time if I wasn’t actively doing something else, the search was waiting in the wings.

More recently I’ve lost 2 other items.  One I won’t mention because it’s too embarassing.  The other is a thumb drive with work for the one class my son is pulling an A in.

I’m so tired of being unable to find things.  I did work on organizing my desk yesterday, so I have a place where papers belong, at least.

Vision board

Vision board sq This is my vision board.  It’s laid out like a feng shui map.

Wealth, Fame, Marriage
Health, Center, Children
Wisdom, Career, Travel

I had a hard time coming up with fame.  The writer was originally under wisdom, but I thought it would be easier to come up with another image for wisdom if I moved that to fame.

Procrastination and Borderline PD

I was going through my facebook saved list today and ran across something that was circulating a lot several weeks ago: To Stop Procrastinating, understand the emotions involved.  I jotted a couple of comments as I read.

“Impulsive people are believed to have a harder time dealing with strong emotion and want to do something else to get rid of the bad feeling, Dr. Steel says.” So the kind of sensitivity to emotion Linehan posits for Borderline PD.

They talk about poor ability to envision future self. Lack of identity and goal setting is also an issue in BPD. The question is whether it’s a tendency you can address once aware of. It’s a disorder when you can’t even see that you have a problem- you think this is just the way you are.

I’m really good at accomplishing some things, but not others. I can see how the feelings I have about, say, housework, are largely unimproved from when I was a child. I do have a future self vision I was working on for that, which I was looking at daily for a while, but I forgot to do it this past month.

This past month I’ve been skirting “set my hair on fire and punch myself in the face” territory (a description of anxiety from Spanglish).  My husband’s employment ended and I was taking two intensive courses concurrently for actual school.  I did a personal enrichment class during some of my drive time.  And I guess there’s just this way that my husband being home most of the time makes it feel like there’s a time vacuum.

For his part, he gets a kind of cabin fever.  I should take him produce shopping once or twice a week.  His law business gets him out of the house now and then, but we’re just getting started with that.

An agenda for break

pawderosa If all goes as planned, I should be starting actual nursing school January 4.  This semester was the pre-semester, and there will be an interview I have with the admissions people sometime in the next 3 weeks.

So I pretty much have 10 weeks of break.  Things I would like to do:
– brush up on languages from college
– start learning guitar
– study brain and behavior
– National Novel Writing Month?

Then there’s the regular to do’s.
– declutter my house some more
– lifestyle management- part time paralegalling
– churchy stuff

I feel restless, because even though I turned in my last assignment, it will likely be next week before I know whether it’s been accepted.  Even if it is returned (which happened with the assignment prior) they give really specific feedback and you only have to fix what’s off spec.  But I really stuck close to the instructions, so I will be surprised if it gets returned.  I think it was a good paper also, with some personal but relevant content and a couple of cogent syntheses.  I think I also feel restless because I’ve grown to thrive on being evaluated.

Since the middle of September my home organization efforts have run hot and cold because I was carrying two intensive classes at the same time.  I moved a box rack into my husband’s office, but things kind of stalled there.  On the other hand, we have cleaned up the dining room for a weekly visit over the same 5 weeks, which has been nice.

Obamacare after separating from federal employment

I wish there had been a way to discover this for us so I’m throwing this out there for other folks, since we have been through these rapids.

We wind up with a choice between paying 80% more on the federal version of Cobra or a 25 day coverage gap. If we had known how to plan, we could have reduced the gap.

For starters, “cobra” (technically TCC in fedspeak) is a lot more expensive. You do get to change plans, but even the cheapest ones are on the level of a gold Marketplace (obamacare) plan, just over a grand.

Also, you have to go through a Marketplace plan to get premium offset tax credit, which is like $350 a month. So the net cost of a Marketplace plan that provides primary care and generic drugs while you work on your deductible would be probably $500. Trouble is, Marketplace can only start on the first day of a month following end of other coverage.

TCC runs on 31 day cycles relative to biweekly pay cycles, so its just not really going to line up with that very often. Would it have been better to separate 2 weeks earlier and still have a 9 day gap? Hard to say.

TCC has this caveat about a requirement to exhaust TCC eligibility for HIPPA. I think that has to to with pre existing conditions. Which I think should not be a thing anymore, but if anyone who reads this knows otherwise, let me know.